The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful you can find out more feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction click site and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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