The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that many of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling click here now all those exciting stimulates!

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