The Sexuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that numerous of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a see here given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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